Reset

In 1999 an event occurred that ended a friends life and changed my life forever. Fear of death infected my daily thoughts, I feared the death of more friends, feared of the death of relatives, feared my own mortality. There were times I couldn't sleep and times I couldn't wake up... in fact everything seemed like a nightmare and took an enormous effort to accomplish.

I dropped/ failed out of college. I tried to run away from myself. I broke off many relationships as soon as I felt too attached.

I chose to walk away from many people and activities that I loved fearing the pain they could inflict.

It took more than 10 years to get past the pain, past living with ghosts, past all the regret, and finally now past the fear. Last year in April I pushed the "reset button" and started from scratch. Jason and I left our lives in South Carolina and moved clear across the country to a place I can only describe as a giant play ground both in the city and out on the wild mountains. I always seem to forget about the ocean, but that will change eventually.

Have you ever wondered what it's like to get a redo in life? I have, but I never thought it would be this difficult. Starting at a walk is hard if you remember what it was like to run fast.